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When I first started working, I was so eager to show what I was good for. Make a statement. Make an impression. Every day counted. Every week. And I tried to keep a good face, usually keeping quiet in situations where I didn't fully understand the concepts, trying to come across as smarter and more experienced than I was.
At the time I thought this was a really good strategy. Who was I kidding? I guess the curiosity and confidence comes after a few years in the business. When you feel more established and less insecure about your working role.
These days I love to be the rookie, and stay the rookie as long as I can. With rookie I mean the "unknowing party" the new person on the block. The person who is ALLOWED TO ASK THE STUPID QUESTIONS. Basically, with my new job, I have been here a few months already, and I am daily exercising the right to ask about everything and question every decision made in the past.
Where would we be without questions? And above all, where would we be without QUESTIONING? Value your right to question. Value your right to be curious. Why or why not are the questions children learn the world through, and we parents find it somewhat annoying, but remember: it is through these questions they learn and come up with the most creative solutions!
So why not use these questions yourself? Why are we doing it this way? Why is this team handling these assignments, when it could scale better if sales owned them? Why did you decide to make this a linear process instead of parallel? Why do you do task A before task B?
NEVER STOP QUESTIONING and you will see that sometimes the world has changed, and people have just become complacent with how things are. And you storm in like the fresh new thinker that you are, changing things, and questioning routines, making the company more productive and more innovative. And you also inspire others to think as well. And start questioning.
Just be strong when people who do not like questions, who do not appreciate to be challenged or questioned, whose experience and superiority is assumed to overrule any questions....be aware because these people are out there: the scared managers afraid to loose their respect of their employees if they don't know what is right, the comfortable CxOs that think they already know everything there is to know.
Be aware, and make sure you are not one of them! Start questioning what you already knew. Maybe you can learn the world a second time around, and find the joy of being a rookie once more. It is very liberating and very inspiring.
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO QUESTION. SO WHY NOT DO IT?
Showing posts with label respect. Show all posts
Showing posts with label respect. Show all posts
Monday, November 9, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
A Woman's Worth
Today I want to write about Lilly, or rather so many women like Lilly. She is a middle-aged beautiful sparkling woman I met at a festival last weekend. I had gone there with a couple of my friends, and we shared the same camping area. Today's blog will focus on women's self worth. In any relationships.
Lilly's story starts with her coming out of a really bad relationship. Frankly speaking, it sounded like a pretty abusive kind. To me that meant that she probably had been broken down over a longer period of time, and hit the bottom, but found an inch of self strength somewhere deep down and broken away. Congrat's to Lilly for that.
Not all women has this horrible experience, but many women still end up in a similar situation to where Lilly was when I met her a few days ago. Instead of seeing a single, strong, amazing, independent woman, these women are looking at themselves in the mirror as lonely, weak, and non-attractive "left overs". They basically stare at themselves with exagerated critical judgement. Feeling that not many chances will come their way anymore. In other words, they think they are not worth much on the market anymore.
This observation always makes me so sad. And furious. Lilly (and other women like her) is a beautiful woman. With a sparkling smile and personality. A giggling heart that one can easily fall in love with. And still she does not see this herself.
Why are the self-esteem dependent on the attention of a man for these women? Why is everything they seem to care and talk about how this and that man may or may not be interested in them or what these men think of them? And why are so many of these broken women often involved with married men (a.k.a. cheating jerks)? I so wished there was a light-bulb I could switch on for them. A light that would show them that they are amazing just as they are. That they don't need a man to confirm that for them.
These women fall over and over again for the wrong kind of men. Men that like the chase, the easy going, the smooth talking, the casual sex, and the non-commitment. Men that can make these women feel attractive - in their desperation for confirmation - for just a short while. The men that in the end treat them as they feel: with no worth.
To all Lilly-women out there, I would like to ask:
1) Why is your self esteem in the power and control of someone else? Wouldn't you want to own your own self-esteem?
2) Would you really want to be with a man that doesn't love you for all the amazing things that you are and are capable of?
3) Would you really like to settle with someone who can't understand how to treat you with respect?
If you want to change your life, I have the first step for you. It is very easy. I know you can do this!
Say to yourself in the mirror (loud and clear) every morning: "I am worth everything good in this world. I am beautiful. I am strong. I am capable. And I am (with no hesitation) worth to be treated with respect."
Use this as a mantra. Listen to your own voice growing stronger every day. Until you hear it. Until you feel it. Until you wake up one morning and see the light that helps you clearly distinguish between jerks and respectful gentlemen.
A real man would never treat a woman disrespectfully. Love starts with trust and respect. If you can't trust a guy and he can't respect you or you can't respect him, your relationship will never enable love. Just a distructive attraction or self-eliminating painful crush. YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER!
Lilly wasn't the only one. There were at least four other women I talked to (only during this event) that had ended up in really bad relationships. And I am not blaming the men here. I ask of any person to stand up for themselves and ask for respect. Don't accept lies. Don't accept cheating. Don't accept disrespectful behavior. Ever. It will eat your self-esteem and your worth.
You are worth everything in this world. You deserve respect. EVERYONE does.
Lilly's story starts with her coming out of a really bad relationship. Frankly speaking, it sounded like a pretty abusive kind. To me that meant that she probably had been broken down over a longer period of time, and hit the bottom, but found an inch of self strength somewhere deep down and broken away. Congrat's to Lilly for that.
Not all women has this horrible experience, but many women still end up in a similar situation to where Lilly was when I met her a few days ago. Instead of seeing a single, strong, amazing, independent woman, these women are looking at themselves in the mirror as lonely, weak, and non-attractive "left overs". They basically stare at themselves with exagerated critical judgement. Feeling that not many chances will come their way anymore. In other words, they think they are not worth much on the market anymore.
This observation always makes me so sad. And furious. Lilly (and other women like her) is a beautiful woman. With a sparkling smile and personality. A giggling heart that one can easily fall in love with. And still she does not see this herself.
Why are the self-esteem dependent on the attention of a man for these women? Why is everything they seem to care and talk about how this and that man may or may not be interested in them or what these men think of them? And why are so many of these broken women often involved with married men (a.k.a. cheating jerks)? I so wished there was a light-bulb I could switch on for them. A light that would show them that they are amazing just as they are. That they don't need a man to confirm that for them.
These women fall over and over again for the wrong kind of men. Men that like the chase, the easy going, the smooth talking, the casual sex, and the non-commitment. Men that can make these women feel attractive - in their desperation for confirmation - for just a short while. The men that in the end treat them as they feel: with no worth.
To all Lilly-women out there, I would like to ask:
1) Why is your self esteem in the power and control of someone else? Wouldn't you want to own your own self-esteem?
2) Would you really want to be with a man that doesn't love you for all the amazing things that you are and are capable of?
3) Would you really like to settle with someone who can't understand how to treat you with respect?
If you want to change your life, I have the first step for you. It is very easy. I know you can do this!
Say to yourself in the mirror (loud and clear) every morning: "I am worth everything good in this world. I am beautiful. I am strong. I am capable. And I am (with no hesitation) worth to be treated with respect."
Use this as a mantra. Listen to your own voice growing stronger every day. Until you hear it. Until you feel it. Until you wake up one morning and see the light that helps you clearly distinguish between jerks and respectful gentlemen.
A real man would never treat a woman disrespectfully. Love starts with trust and respect. If you can't trust a guy and he can't respect you or you can't respect him, your relationship will never enable love. Just a distructive attraction or self-eliminating painful crush. YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER!
Lilly wasn't the only one. There were at least four other women I talked to (only during this event) that had ended up in really bad relationships. And I am not blaming the men here. I ask of any person to stand up for themselves and ask for respect. Don't accept lies. Don't accept cheating. Don't accept disrespectful behavior. Ever. It will eat your self-esteem and your worth.
You are worth everything in this world. You deserve respect. EVERYONE does.
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