The Magic of Questions

When I first started working, I was so eager to show what I was good for. Make a statement. Make an impression. Every day counted. Every week. And I tried to keep a good face, usually keeping quiet in situations where I didn't fully understand the concepts, trying to come across as smarter and more experienced than I was.

At the time I thought this was a really good strategy. Who was I kidding? I guess the curiosity and confidence comes after a few years in the business. When you feel more established and less insecure about your working role.

These days I love to be the rookie, and stay the rookie as long as I can. With rookie I mean the "unknowing party" the new person on the block. The person who is ALLOWED TO ASK THE STUPID QUESTIONS. Basically, with my new job, I have been here a few months already, and I am daily exercising the right to ask about everything and question every decision made in the past.

Where would we be without questions? And above all, where would we be without QUESTIONING? Value your right to question. Value your right to be curious. Why or why not are the questions children learn the world through, and we parents find it somewhat annoying, but remember: it is through these questions they learn and come up with the most creative solutions!

So why not use these questions yourself? Why are we doing it this way? Why is this team handling these assignments, when it could scale better if sales owned them? Why did you decide to make this a linear process instead of parallel? Why do you do task A before task B?

NEVER STOP QUESTIONING and you will see that sometimes the world has changed, and people have just become complacent with how things are. And you storm in like the fresh new thinker that you are, changing things, and questioning routines, making the company more productive and more innovative. And you also inspire others to think as well. And start questioning.

Just be strong when people who do not like questions, who do not appreciate to be challenged or questioned, whose experience and superiority is assumed to overrule any questions....be aware because these people are out there: the scared managers afraid to loose their respect of their employees if they don't know what is right, the comfortable CxOs that think they already know everything there is to know.
Be aware, and make sure you are not one of them! Start questioning what you already knew. Maybe you can learn the world a second time around, and find the joy of being a rookie once more. It is very liberating and very inspiring.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO QUESTION. SO WHY NOT DO IT?

The Code Words

7 years ago I learned the code words. The keys to making your boss not only hear you but really listen. I now give them to you:

"I am seeking more responsibility" means "I am tired of my current position and want to grow into leadership and management roles" alternatively "My path is slowly heading elsewhere if you don't provide me a growth path."

"I want new challenges" means "give me a new role / assignment / or responsibility" but it does not necessarily mean a manager position. Perhaps a project or a component ownership though.

"I don't feel motivated" means "I am looking elsewhere already, and probably will stay if I get a better offer / raise or if you meet my demands". Usually after stating these few words, the counter question is: "And what would motivate you?" SO be PREPARED to in a few sentences define what it is you need to feel that spark again...

The worst thing you can do for your career is to NOT THINK ABOUT IT and COME UNPREPARED to a performance review. Your career is your growth path. Don't neglect it, allow it some time, and list the things you did well during the year, to motivate your increased value for the company.

And one last thing: always focus on the tasks that leads to more value for the company. The rest are just not worth it. Focus on things that energizes you and motivates you, but also focus on the tasks and assignments that lead to growth, if you are not happy to stay where you are.

And always take the opportunities that come to you that feels "a little bit over your competence level" as those are the tasks that will make you grow. Never accept something you can already do. That will make you stagnate and get bored before you know it. Fear and butterflies in your stomach when accepting a new challenge ARE GOOD SIGNS!! Let the butterflies buzz. I know you can do it. And so do you.

Good luck with your next performance review. Let me know if you want me to focus on any specific questions within this area. I have tons of tips!

Achieving Your Goals

To achieve your goals (see my previous blog for how to create them) you need to be selective. You can't have 100s of goals at the same time. Select a few, and if possible find dependencies to what goals you should do first, to make path for other goals to be achieved much easier.

Example: If I focus on a better communication with my boss, I can later express my interest in travelling more...

SO....HOW do you achieve your goals. Well there are different ways I have used.

DIVIDE AND CONQUER
Goal: I want a Donna Karen purse within 6 months
Strategy: I will save money to afford it
Divide: I need to save $xxx per month to reach the amount needed
Action plan: If I don't spend money on clothes, coffee, and drinks w friends I can achieve that amount per month...

If the goal seems unachievable, try to break it into steps and backtrack. To achieve A, I have to achieve B, and to achieve B, I need to do C by this time.... and by listing C, B, A, you have your action plan.

Sounds easy? Well, it is harder than one can imagine sometimes.

So, what if parts of the goal is not within your control? Then there is the aim sideways approach.

AIM SIDEWAYS
Keep your focus on achieving the goal. And let all your actions lead to steps closer. If there are parts of the distance that you can't do, at least not in a direct fashion, then do them sideways.

Example
Goal: I want to become manager for the engineering department within the next two years
Strategy: Take more leadership and more responsibility, get assigned to important team-leading tasks, show my value to the upper management, and to the team, etc.
Blocker: My boss does not believe that I am ready to become a manager (and you have done your homework of finding out what is required, and proven that list to him over a 6 month period...) - e.g. you are shore he or she is just blocking
Sideways-approach: Modify your goal -- you can become a manager for another department for a while, focus on showing your management qualities to the support organization, keep your ears and eyes open, talk to their management that you are seeking more responsibility. Apply for opportunities under other managers.

Baseline: You can allow yourself to side-track into an almost similar goal-situation - e.g. if you become the manager of the support team, you grow with the management experience, even though it is not what you first desired (development) and next opening for development manager, you have the management experience on your list....which gets you one step closer.

Side tracking is good, if you stay focused on the goal!

And remember, the GOAL is always to GROW. Grow your potential and your comfort zone.

Glass Ceiling

After my last post I received a few emails with concerns and questions around "what if I meet a blocker and don't see how to get around it with the side-way approach?"

Well, I wish I could say there is always a way. If you don't find it, create it. If there are no higher responsibilities to strive for, because they are all assigned to other people, you could (if it make sense) try to find or create some responsibility of your own. If for no other reason, just to motivate yourself to keep going. I know it sounds ridiculous and meaningless, but sometimes finding a way around blockers takes time to spot. And you need something to keep you focused, motivated, and continuing doing a great job, so that when the opportunity comes, you are for sure pepped and ready!

There is a key thought to hold on to, and that is that most organizations (who are healthy) continue to grow and change. Hence, there is a big chance an opening will present itself in time. If you keep your eyes and ears open, and if you stretch your perspective to other departments and responsibilities.

But I know it is not easy. And when I was in black blocked holes, well, then those words comforted only temporarily. So what can I advise?

I think I can say one thing, but it needs careful consideration, as previous blog-entries have covered. You can decide to look elsewhere and move on. If you have had the same performance evaluation conversation with your boss over the last two years, and if you have clearly - in writing - described to him or her what you want to do and how you want to grow. And there is no response. Well then... it is a signal that you are not listened to, and that your growth potential is being limited by a blocker. TRY TO FIND SOMETHING ELSE. And again, I know, easier said then done. Especially in these times. But GREAT PEOPLE always get hired and always find a way. So keep looking.

Still, I know it is hard. Been there.

The best advise I have had - and it is possible I have mentioned it before - is to choose your boss. That can be reinforced in this context. Don't SETTLE FOR A BLOCKING BOSS. Your manager's responsibility (to deserve the salary he or she has) is to ENABLE YOU in your growth path. Challenge you to get out of your comfort zone. Build strong leaders and communicators and increase skills and knowledge among the staff. If this is not facilitated. If the manager holds you back, then it is his or her loss if you leave for someone who do enable you.

BE BRAVE. MOVE ON. Choose your boss!

Teach Others to Fish

We all know the saying of: "Give a man a fish, and he will not go hungry for the night. Teach him how to fish, and he will never go hungry again". (Comes in many versions...)

During my first work years I used to run to my boss all the time with urgent issues. I was insecure on what was the right things to do. I didn't trust my own experience and knowledge. And I was afraid to make mistakes.

My boss of course was annoyed with it, he must have been. But he showed me a lot of patience, and in the end helped me to help myself, by NOT SOLVING MY PROBLEMS. The times when he sent me back with the words: "So, what are you standing here for? Go solve it!" I was so frustrated that he had not helped me. It was only later I understood his invaluable help. He helped me help myself.

The ability to let go of helping/do the problem solving for someone and the ability to separate "my problems" from "your problems" from "our problems" are rare in any relationships. I see managers failing constantly. I see marriages failing constantly. And I do acknowledge that is is very tough to learn. However it is SO ESSENTIAL for successful and healthy relationships.

It is most of the time a long-term good management strategy to let people sort their problems out themselves. One reason is the employees grow through their problem solving, another is they feel accomplished when the problem has been fixed, and in the end let's not forget the fact that you get a little less worries to care about as a manager if you learn to let go of certain categories of problems.

And believe me, this is not a lazy approach, if it comes across to you that way. It is a survival approach. If you choose to handle all problems your employees encounter, placing yourself as the go-to-for-every-answer-person. Then you will in the end have a staff that depends on you entirely - yes, you will feel very needed and as if you can't ever leave work for a day - but you also many times end up in a burning spot. You are the bottleneck for all decisions being made.

I tell you this: You don't want that. You do want to strive for independent workers, that come to you with the REAL problems. That they can't solve themselves. You want to build a staff that you can trust and rely on that are secure in their roles. So they grow into greater problem solvers and make your business bloom.

You micro managers out there - LET GO! Clarify the responsibility and the goals. And the consequences. Then leave people to do their job.

In this process, you will need trust and patience. Patience to let people make the wrong decisions sometimes. Patience to ask questions instead of boosting out your own solution and opinions. Trust in their capability and growth. If you practise your patience and trust, you will end up with your team one day teaching YOU new things, and making YOU grow. That, my friends, is the reward.

Practise just to listen. Sometimes a problem just needs to be ventilated. The best solution you can hand your employees are the guiding questions they can learn to ask themselves in time: "OK, so you've told me this, this, and this. What are you going to do about it? What are your alternatives? And what are the consequences?"

With this simple question set, you have clearly stated the responsibility of solving the problem is theirs. You have also opened the road for alternative solutions. And you have guided them to think of the outcome of action choice. And best of all you have not tainted their creative minds with your opinions yet. Once they are done coming up with alternatives, you should:

1. Reward them (so they feel good about their process discovery): "Good suggestions."
2. Add additional options if necessary: "Another thing you can look into is...." "In addition to those options, I would also suggest looking at..."
3. Guide them towards the next step: "So now that you have the options, what will you do next and why?"

As a manager, you should only act as a process accelerator. The employees are hired to do their jobs. And you are the guide and enabler the help them achieve the goals. Just try that thought and see how it fits you.

And then again, patience, trust, listen. You will see results.