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I got the question a week ago: What are your best career tips? The question was asked by an intern at our company. I gave the advise of always networking, select a few mentors, try different assignments, and focus on growth/learning, but when I came home later that day, I decided to really think it through. And here they are, my top five list:
1. Choose your manager - if the current one does not help you grow or see you/your contributions, try to present your achievements to another manager, or the manager one step above... If this is not possible, it is time to seriously consider changing jobs. If the manager does not see you, listen to you, or acknowledge your contributions as well as needs, how will you ever grow and learn in this position?
2. Never believe "it is the way it is" or "there is nothing we can do" or "because this is the way we have always done it". Believe me when I say: there is _always_ another way! Don't let other people tell you what you can or can't do. Don't let other people's fears, failure, or limitations limit what you want to do or your creativity. Yes, you should listen to experience and advice. But if I had followed the rules or listened to the "what if this happens if you do that" or "you can't do that", then I would never have been where I am today.
3. Focus on what you are good at - that will lead to excellent results and good self esteem. You can practise on your weaknesses outside the spotlight, but always present what you did great (and absolutely no excuses for yourself!) Seriously, too many people work on improving their "improvement areas", but do you see many successful people focused on their weak sides?
4. Believe that you are worth more!! Don't ever compromise on your integrity. I have lost some really good deals and negotiations the few times I have doubted myself. Never ever compromise on your self-worth! You are worth it. And more!
5. Choose words like "I want to develop" or "I am ready for new challenges" in your performance evaluation discussions - that will signal you are ready for a promotion or new assignments. Much more effective than to for instance hint that you have other offers or that you are not happy in your situation... Paint the vision, and the vision will become true.
And then a bonus principle I have taken with me from one of my mentors:
"You either win or you learn."
Feel free to add your own career tips to this blog entry.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
The Power Game
I talked to a friend of mine the other day, who was upset about how her manager had cut her off during a meeting with VPs. It reminded me of a situation that happened to me a few years back.
I was invloved in an education program for global sales. We were 4-6 people developing content that would reach 200 trainers, who would travel out in the world and educate our sales forces. I was part of this group. Contributing equally with the others to the deliverables. At the event, each of the group memebers were assigned different passages of the training sessions. My passage was 20 minutes. All the other guys' parts were scheduled for 1 hour each.
Oh well. I thought: I am the greenest in these contexts, so maybe it is a "try run" and kind of a test from my boss to see if I can do it. Perhaps he is testing me so I can get more of these assignements for the next round. I prepared my session and thought I did a pretty good job putting something clear and communicative presentation material together. The others did their parts too, but most of them had just cut together from previous presentation decks, so the flows of their material weren't as worked through as mine.
They each gave their sessions, and of course exceeded their time limits. When it was my turn my manager asked me to cover what I had in 10 minutes, with the motivation that we were running out of time. Irritated, but cooperative, I cut out a few parts of my session.
In the first minutes of my presentation my boss suddenly starts to interrupt me. "Clarifying" what I just said. I have never felt so humiliated and belittled in the last 5 years of my career. I have always had good ratings on presentaiton skills. People like my energy, my simple way of explaining things, and my many levels of communcation. I strongly doubt I had a sudden episode of communication-disability. I doubt that he had to "clarify" anything. His clarifications were more interruptive than anything else. And he distrupted the planned flow, and I had to regain control of the session several times.
Not only did I miss out on important parts, due to lack of time, but he made me take other tracks than I planned with my messages. When I confronted him, a few weeks later, when things had calmed down a bit, he asked me to confront him "in context" next time, as he couldn't recall the session I was referring to. Hm. How many training session did I give?
Later I reflected objectively and ended up that he might have just wanted to reinforce and repeat important messages, so his intention would not have been interrupting or clarifying, but instead highlighting what I said. Perhaps. There are always two sides of a story, and I would rather give someone benefit of a doubt. The challenge is however still there: how do you win back the lost power, when someone has made an action which has caused deminishing harm?
One trick that I have learned is to thank the interrupting and belittleing person for his/her ADDITIONS to your messaging, but maybe some of you have better power language tricks and tips? Feel free to comment and share your power game stories and advise.
I was invloved in an education program for global sales. We were 4-6 people developing content that would reach 200 trainers, who would travel out in the world and educate our sales forces. I was part of this group. Contributing equally with the others to the deliverables. At the event, each of the group memebers were assigned different passages of the training sessions. My passage was 20 minutes. All the other guys' parts were scheduled for 1 hour each.
Oh well. I thought: I am the greenest in these contexts, so maybe it is a "try run" and kind of a test from my boss to see if I can do it. Perhaps he is testing me so I can get more of these assignements for the next round. I prepared my session and thought I did a pretty good job putting something clear and communicative presentation material together. The others did their parts too, but most of them had just cut together from previous presentation decks, so the flows of their material weren't as worked through as mine.
They each gave their sessions, and of course exceeded their time limits. When it was my turn my manager asked me to cover what I had in 10 minutes, with the motivation that we were running out of time. Irritated, but cooperative, I cut out a few parts of my session.
In the first minutes of my presentation my boss suddenly starts to interrupt me. "Clarifying" what I just said. I have never felt so humiliated and belittled in the last 5 years of my career. I have always had good ratings on presentaiton skills. People like my energy, my simple way of explaining things, and my many levels of communcation. I strongly doubt I had a sudden episode of communication-disability. I doubt that he had to "clarify" anything. His clarifications were more interruptive than anything else. And he distrupted the planned flow, and I had to regain control of the session several times.
Not only did I miss out on important parts, due to lack of time, but he made me take other tracks than I planned with my messages. When I confronted him, a few weeks later, when things had calmed down a bit, he asked me to confront him "in context" next time, as he couldn't recall the session I was referring to. Hm. How many training session did I give?
Later I reflected objectively and ended up that he might have just wanted to reinforce and repeat important messages, so his intention would not have been interrupting or clarifying, but instead highlighting what I said. Perhaps. There are always two sides of a story, and I would rather give someone benefit of a doubt. The challenge is however still there: how do you win back the lost power, when someone has made an action which has caused deminishing harm?
One trick that I have learned is to thank the interrupting and belittleing person for his/her ADDITIONS to your messaging, but maybe some of you have better power language tricks and tips? Feel free to comment and share your power game stories and advise.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Where to Draw the Humor Line
A friend of a friend just told me a story that happened to her. She is a director at a high-tech company and works mainly with VP-level male coworkers and customers. It is very important in her job to gain respect, as she influences and sets the strategies for products based on strategic customer partnerships.
At this late afternoon mingle event, where different sales team managers and product management VPs were gathering, after a full day of meetings and discussions, it is in the company culture to network and reinforce important strategic and political relations. Fairly new in the game (she had only worked in her position for a little less than a year) it was very important to make a good and respectful impression on some of the VPs. One of them, let us call him John, had already established good connection with my friend's friend, let's call her Anna. And as John and Anna was talking about their meeting that happened earlier during the day, suddenly Anna's manager walks up to the group and wants to join the conversation. For the record there were three or four other high-up people in the ring of conversation too, just listening but paying attention to the conversation for sure.
Anna's manager suddenly interrupts (and this will be another topic of mine later, why male managers feel like they have to interrupt women in their teams!) and asks John how he has been doing. Again, for the record, John is a key player for the next years sales strategies, so it is a moment of competition at this time to get his time and attention. John politely answers, with an apologetic look to Anna. Anna's manager continues and suggests John to catch up with Anna later during the week. John informs the manager that the two of them have already had a very valuable and fruitful meeting, and that he is very happy to see Anna prosper and make such progress in the team in such short time. Anna feels complimented within, and is just about to give a positive feedback to John, when Anna's manager suddenly says:
"Yeah, you never know with Anna, she is so unpredictable. She's on cycles you know...he he". The whole circle of people turns very quiet. John doesn't know what to say and has a very disturbed and surprised look on his face. Not to mention Anna, whose jaw has dropped. The manager laughs a bit nervously and leaves the circle. John turns back to Anna and gives her a very compationate look, that somewhat tells her that it is her manager who was the jerk here, and she is not at fault.
Of course she is not. What a jerk! Even if women are on cycles, and our moods may vary or our strengths against raw comments may be inconsistent, I believe that there are just as much problem dealing with male egos as their are with hormonal women. How can someone, in front of important key persons in particular, make such a bad joke. If it was a joke even.
It is distasteful. But to be fair, I guess if it is one time, one should let it pass? But still.... I couldn't believe what I heard when my friend told me about Anna's experience. And I am glad no one else laughed. I hope the circle's reaction made the manager get the message, and I believe that was the case, as he immediately left the group with an embarrassed laugh.
Later I was told that John had followed up with Anna again, and in passing mentioned how there are too few women in the high-tech business. He also told her that he had sponsored a college fund for women in technology. I admire John in this story. A very successful man, who is confident enough in his own position, to let others grow and feel respected. A man that respects women. Why are there so few of this kind of man?
By sharing this story, I want to encourrage you to treat your colleagues with great respect. Even if they are jerks. It will shine brighter and let you win long term. Remember that sometimes it takes just one disrespectful joke to make a lot of harm.
And if it ever happens to you, that you get disrespectful comments or jokes, don't let them ruin your integrity or self-esteem. Don't let jerks ruin your day! In that moment, try to remember John instead. Remember that there are other people out there who respect you and who believe in your capacity. John believes in you and that you can do it.
Just remember John.
At this late afternoon mingle event, where different sales team managers and product management VPs were gathering, after a full day of meetings and discussions, it is in the company culture to network and reinforce important strategic and political relations. Fairly new in the game (she had only worked in her position for a little less than a year) it was very important to make a good and respectful impression on some of the VPs. One of them, let us call him John, had already established good connection with my friend's friend, let's call her Anna. And as John and Anna was talking about their meeting that happened earlier during the day, suddenly Anna's manager walks up to the group and wants to join the conversation. For the record there were three or four other high-up people in the ring of conversation too, just listening but paying attention to the conversation for sure.
Anna's manager suddenly interrupts (and this will be another topic of mine later, why male managers feel like they have to interrupt women in their teams!) and asks John how he has been doing. Again, for the record, John is a key player for the next years sales strategies, so it is a moment of competition at this time to get his time and attention. John politely answers, with an apologetic look to Anna. Anna's manager continues and suggests John to catch up with Anna later during the week. John informs the manager that the two of them have already had a very valuable and fruitful meeting, and that he is very happy to see Anna prosper and make such progress in the team in such short time. Anna feels complimented within, and is just about to give a positive feedback to John, when Anna's manager suddenly says:
"Yeah, you never know with Anna, she is so unpredictable. She's on cycles you know...he he". The whole circle of people turns very quiet. John doesn't know what to say and has a very disturbed and surprised look on his face. Not to mention Anna, whose jaw has dropped. The manager laughs a bit nervously and leaves the circle. John turns back to Anna and gives her a very compationate look, that somewhat tells her that it is her manager who was the jerk here, and she is not at fault.
Of course she is not. What a jerk! Even if women are on cycles, and our moods may vary or our strengths against raw comments may be inconsistent, I believe that there are just as much problem dealing with male egos as their are with hormonal women. How can someone, in front of important key persons in particular, make such a bad joke. If it was a joke even.
It is distasteful. But to be fair, I guess if it is one time, one should let it pass? But still.... I couldn't believe what I heard when my friend told me about Anna's experience. And I am glad no one else laughed. I hope the circle's reaction made the manager get the message, and I believe that was the case, as he immediately left the group with an embarrassed laugh.
Later I was told that John had followed up with Anna again, and in passing mentioned how there are too few women in the high-tech business. He also told her that he had sponsored a college fund for women in technology. I admire John in this story. A very successful man, who is confident enough in his own position, to let others grow and feel respected. A man that respects women. Why are there so few of this kind of man?
By sharing this story, I want to encourrage you to treat your colleagues with great respect. Even if they are jerks. It will shine brighter and let you win long term. Remember that sometimes it takes just one disrespectful joke to make a lot of harm.
And if it ever happens to you, that you get disrespectful comments or jokes, don't let them ruin your integrity or self-esteem. Don't let jerks ruin your day! In that moment, try to remember John instead. Remember that there are other people out there who respect you and who believe in your capacity. John believes in you and that you can do it.
Just remember John.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
A Good Start
I am starting this blog as I myself need a new start. I have had a long career with the same company for many years now. Well, the company has changed - through acquisitions and growth - so it feels like many different companies. But really it has been the same. The same technology. The same conflicts, just different people and different magnitudes.
I tried quite a few different roles. Worked with different people and various products. Worked on different continents. I would claim I have gone from a rookie to a pretty experienced person with a career that many of my friends from back home admire (or envy?). I don't feel like I am bragging, as I have deserved every inch of my working success. On my way I have met many challenges. But I want to feel like I can say with pride and no judgement from others that I am capable and accomplished. That I in some areas and by many people would be seen as a very successful lady.
However, it always feels strange to say this. Why? When I started questioning the reason, I ended up with the answer that it is because I have never been allowed to feel really really good about what I do. More is always expected. There is not much slack given. Or much cred.
I know that me, as many of my female friends, am in great need of acknowledgement and encourragement. I would love to state that we all need this, but I fail to see that is the shown reality. I see that women tend to need the verbal connection and reinforcement more.
And maybe this is the reason, or one of the many reasons and observations, to why I am starting this blog. I want to encourrage women out there that they can do it. You can do whatever you want. You are capable. It is only your own reinforced thoughts and fears that are limiting. Old patterns from traditional roles and expectations. From a male dominated social structure, that has been influenced by male thinking.
And don't get me wrong here. I am not saying male thinking is wrong in any way. I am just stating it is different. Based on valid biological differences. And hence the thought processes are different. The structures out there in the working place have mainly been constructed by male thought process. And that is why it sometimes feels so hard tough and impossible or unfair. Because it is a missmatch.
I suggest we create this blog together. To build better confidence in that we are not alone in our sometimes despair like feelings and situations. There are so many others who have felt the same hopelessness and fear or inequality. I hope you are with me on this. I want to make a difference. I want to make a new start. I want to make you believe, as I do believe, that you can do it!
You can do it.
I tried quite a few different roles. Worked with different people and various products. Worked on different continents. I would claim I have gone from a rookie to a pretty experienced person with a career that many of my friends from back home admire (or envy?). I don't feel like I am bragging, as I have deserved every inch of my working success. On my way I have met many challenges. But I want to feel like I can say with pride and no judgement from others that I am capable and accomplished. That I in some areas and by many people would be seen as a very successful lady.
However, it always feels strange to say this. Why? When I started questioning the reason, I ended up with the answer that it is because I have never been allowed to feel really really good about what I do. More is always expected. There is not much slack given. Or much cred.
I know that me, as many of my female friends, am in great need of acknowledgement and encourragement. I would love to state that we all need this, but I fail to see that is the shown reality. I see that women tend to need the verbal connection and reinforcement more.
And maybe this is the reason, or one of the many reasons and observations, to why I am starting this blog. I want to encourrage women out there that they can do it. You can do whatever you want. You are capable. It is only your own reinforced thoughts and fears that are limiting. Old patterns from traditional roles and expectations. From a male dominated social structure, that has been influenced by male thinking.
And don't get me wrong here. I am not saying male thinking is wrong in any way. I am just stating it is different. Based on valid biological differences. And hence the thought processes are different. The structures out there in the working place have mainly been constructed by male thought process. And that is why it sometimes feels so hard tough and impossible or unfair. Because it is a missmatch.
I suggest we create this blog together. To build better confidence in that we are not alone in our sometimes despair like feelings and situations. There are so many others who have felt the same hopelessness and fear or inequality. I hope you are with me on this. I want to make a difference. I want to make a new start. I want to make you believe, as I do believe, that you can do it!
You can do it.
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