Posts
I read recently in a newsletter produced by Nova 100 (http://www.nova100.de/) about attitude making all the difference. Since I agree with much said in that newsletter, I wanted to highlight the consensus here:
"It doesn't matter how intelligent, creative, or experienced you are, not really, it is the attitude that makes the difference."
This is true for so many situations. However, I would weigh in that intelligence and creativity are good additions to your merit list, as well as experience. I would also very many times look at motivation level and service mindedness - especially for roles closer to the customer base.
But I do agree with that attitude is key. If you think you are the best and most brilliant engineer in the world that has ever existed - that may be true - but if your attitude is not cooperative, sharing, and helping others, well then you wouldn't be much of an asset for any company that plans to scale. And you may be the most savvy sales person in the world, and really gets the money, but if you don't really care about your customers and how they progress over time, there will be no long-term relationships and scale for a company, and you wouldn't get my recommendations.
The attitude on how to tackle difficult times, as well as difficult problems. The attitude around everyday conflicts in a relationship. The attitude towards change and life adventures. The attitude towards loss and pain.
It is said that life is 10% interesting events and 90% around how you face and handle these events. I think I agree. It is some key analysis to be made for people who keep on viewing the world with dark shades. I am not saying you need to become Mr or Mrs perky super-optimistic. I am just encouraging to ALLOW and to EMBRACE. And to LET GO. The people I have met in my path that are the easiest to work with, the most appreciated friends and colleagues, and the people that are the strongest leaders that help people grow around them, are the ones with an attitude that views the world realistically: for what it is, but then makes the most out of it.
Let your attitude make your life easier, as it is difficult enough as it is.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Create Your Own Wheels
If I had followed all the rules. If I had listened to all "good advise" that I have been given. If I had gone the safe paths that others had tried before me, showing on "this is how you do it" solutions. If I had done that more in my life, then I would never have learned as much, succeeded with as much, and advanced before my peers as much as I have today. I wouldn't have grown as much as I have either.
I am not saying you should reinvent the wheel, I am saying you should invent your own wheels in your shapes and forms and designs. I am saying you should find new ways to use old wheels. You should dare questioning why to use wheels at all. And you should create new wheels where there are none or where the wheels in place do not fit YOUR GROWTH PATH.
We are all individuals. We are all different. Who says we all learn and progress the same way? We all need our own path. Our own wheels.
People may have viewed me as "complicated", "difficult", "emotional", "stubborn", or "dramatic" at times. Well, I choose my own world, my own rules, my own limitations and values. I chose my own glasses to view the world through, and in my world the whole world CAN BE WRONG. Even if things have been proven before, it doesn't mean they are still true. And just because some people have decided it is best for them in their context to do certain things in a specific way, it doesn't mean you have to follow the same pattern. Maybe it doesn't fit who you are or who you want to be. You have the right - and every human being does own this right - to define who you are and what values you want to stick by. There are consequences of your choices, yes, but at least you own them if you have not let anyone else force you to become the person you are.
It is YOUR LIFE and YOUR CHOICES. There are NO RULES that you have to follow because someone says so or because someone else is limited by fear. The only entity - really - that you have to account to is yourself. You are your values and the consequences of your actions. Of course not excluding owning up to the responsibility of your actions.
Choose who you want to be. Choose your values. Live by them every day. And let no one else define your rules.
I am not saying you should reinvent the wheel, I am saying you should invent your own wheels in your shapes and forms and designs. I am saying you should find new ways to use old wheels. You should dare questioning why to use wheels at all. And you should create new wheels where there are none or where the wheels in place do not fit YOUR GROWTH PATH.
We are all individuals. We are all different. Who says we all learn and progress the same way? We all need our own path. Our own wheels.
People may have viewed me as "complicated", "difficult", "emotional", "stubborn", or "dramatic" at times. Well, I choose my own world, my own rules, my own limitations and values. I chose my own glasses to view the world through, and in my world the whole world CAN BE WRONG. Even if things have been proven before, it doesn't mean they are still true. And just because some people have decided it is best for them in their context to do certain things in a specific way, it doesn't mean you have to follow the same pattern. Maybe it doesn't fit who you are or who you want to be. You have the right - and every human being does own this right - to define who you are and what values you want to stick by. There are consequences of your choices, yes, but at least you own them if you have not let anyone else force you to become the person you are.
It is YOUR LIFE and YOUR CHOICES. There are NO RULES that you have to follow because someone says so or because someone else is limited by fear. The only entity - really - that you have to account to is yourself. You are your values and the consequences of your actions. Of course not excluding owning up to the responsibility of your actions.
Choose who you want to be. Choose your values. Live by them every day. And let no one else define your rules.
Interview Tricks
Got a question today from one of the women I am coaching, on how she should prepare for her next interview. Well, I don't know if I have anything out of the ordinary here, but here are a few things that have made me a more attractive candidate and that also makes candidates stick out when I happen to be interviewing.
1) Always dress classy, but low-key. A tidy fresh and yet stylish first impression opens the door instead of creating challenges from the minute you enter a room
2) Always read about the company in advance, and ask related questions to the interviewers on what you found, so they realize that you have done your research and that you are genuinely interested in how the future for the company looks like and what their visions are
3) During an interview the interviewers always check for three things and I have this rule: Brain, Heart, and Feet.
--- Brain: do you have the right competence, experience, and mindset for the job / role / assignment --- here you should try to match your previous experiences with the role you are applying for, and highlight education or previous experience with what the company is producing. Also show how your other experiences will enrich the value you may bring to the company. That will build up for the actual salary negotiation.
--- Heart: do you have the right values to fit with the team at hand. Sometimes you can have the best of competence, but you will still not complement the team. This is many times a reason why you get turned down (if your competence is a match, but you still don't get the job) --- here you should try to really be honest with who you are, as you don't want to end up matched in a team on someone you are not. Think about that you will spend at least 8 hrs a day with the team, and it would only be valuable for your progress if you were in a team that you can learn from and that you can contribute to. So be as honest as you can, without down selling yourself an inch. Only use positive words when describing yourself. And use some of your strengths as weaknesses (e.g. strength: organization, weakness: less flexible at times; strength: strong leader / decision maker, weakness: sometimes forgets to take time to listen to weaker voices in a meeting).
--- Feet: where are you going? A company always sees a recruitment as an investment. Investing in you, money and time, will it lead to a good harvest? Are you intending to stay with the company for as long as it takes to get you up to speed and also get some profit of their investment? Hence, always think about a 3 year vision within the company, that you can bring up in a suitable context. E.g. "Well, I can see that perhaps three years from now, I would have built out this team to handle not only the marketing but also the channel relationships and customer reference programs...." It shows that you have a plan to stay, and a plan to develop things going forward. A good candidate for investment!
4) Confidence is key, but bragging is a turnoff. It is a problem often among my girl friends that they get very nervous before an interview. Not feeling their true worth. Always feel like you are worth a fortune going into any interview. That your time is money. That they really need you. Don't ever let anyone downplay your worth. And believe me they will try, if not for any other reason but to get to a good negotiation start point, e.g. a cheap one for the company.
5) Never give a number. Never discuss salary in your first interview. Always treat your first interview as YOUR interview with them. Checking THEM out if THEY would be the right fit for YOU. That makes you more attractive in the company's eyes. Just like in dating!
6) Don't fear silence. They will probably test you in different ways how you react to stress. Some interviewers use silence as a trigger. Don't fear it. Embrace it. Wait. And then wait some more. And if you really can't wait more for them to ask a question. Have a question ready for them - open ended - so you can buy time, if you need to.
7) On questions that hits you off guard, breathe, wait, and ask for clarification or ask a counter question. That will buy you time to think what to answer. E.g. "well...hm....can you please elaborate what you mean with...." or "Well, I would like to think about this question for a while before I answer". You have time. And all questions aren't meant to be answered immediately.
8) Be professional (no nervous or bad jokes) and positive (don't show any bad moods or anger, even if they turn out to be unprofessional or rude - yes, this has happened to me...). You don't gain anything on loosing your temper. Just leave politely if the interview is not respectful, with the excuse that you have realized the job will probably not meet your expectations.
I am sure there are many more tips on this, as it is a very common topic. Here are a few books on the topic, for extensive preparation. However, I usually think you should be just enough prepared. A natural behavior is better for both you and the recruiters, as that will assure a better match-making. And if you really are super nervous, and it is your first job interview after college or something....well....tell them. It will reveal a card from your hand, but it may also make you feel a bit more comfortable, which may help you win in the end.
Good luck!
Books:
1) Always dress classy, but low-key. A tidy fresh and yet stylish first impression opens the door instead of creating challenges from the minute you enter a room
2) Always read about the company in advance, and ask related questions to the interviewers on what you found, so they realize that you have done your research and that you are genuinely interested in how the future for the company looks like and what their visions are
3) During an interview the interviewers always check for three things and I have this rule: Brain, Heart, and Feet.
--- Brain: do you have the right competence, experience, and mindset for the job / role / assignment --- here you should try to match your previous experiences with the role you are applying for, and highlight education or previous experience with what the company is producing. Also show how your other experiences will enrich the value you may bring to the company. That will build up for the actual salary negotiation.
--- Heart: do you have the right values to fit with the team at hand. Sometimes you can have the best of competence, but you will still not complement the team. This is many times a reason why you get turned down (if your competence is a match, but you still don't get the job) --- here you should try to really be honest with who you are, as you don't want to end up matched in a team on someone you are not. Think about that you will spend at least 8 hrs a day with the team, and it would only be valuable for your progress if you were in a team that you can learn from and that you can contribute to. So be as honest as you can, without down selling yourself an inch. Only use positive words when describing yourself. And use some of your strengths as weaknesses (e.g. strength: organization, weakness: less flexible at times; strength: strong leader / decision maker, weakness: sometimes forgets to take time to listen to weaker voices in a meeting).
--- Feet: where are you going? A company always sees a recruitment as an investment. Investing in you, money and time, will it lead to a good harvest? Are you intending to stay with the company for as long as it takes to get you up to speed and also get some profit of their investment? Hence, always think about a 3 year vision within the company, that you can bring up in a suitable context. E.g. "Well, I can see that perhaps three years from now, I would have built out this team to handle not only the marketing but also the channel relationships and customer reference programs...." It shows that you have a plan to stay, and a plan to develop things going forward. A good candidate for investment!
4) Confidence is key, but bragging is a turnoff. It is a problem often among my girl friends that they get very nervous before an interview. Not feeling their true worth. Always feel like you are worth a fortune going into any interview. That your time is money. That they really need you. Don't ever let anyone downplay your worth. And believe me they will try, if not for any other reason but to get to a good negotiation start point, e.g. a cheap one for the company.
5) Never give a number. Never discuss salary in your first interview. Always treat your first interview as YOUR interview with them. Checking THEM out if THEY would be the right fit for YOU. That makes you more attractive in the company's eyes. Just like in dating!
6) Don't fear silence. They will probably test you in different ways how you react to stress. Some interviewers use silence as a trigger. Don't fear it. Embrace it. Wait. And then wait some more. And if you really can't wait more for them to ask a question. Have a question ready for them - open ended - so you can buy time, if you need to.
7) On questions that hits you off guard, breathe, wait, and ask for clarification or ask a counter question. That will buy you time to think what to answer. E.g. "well...hm....can you please elaborate what you mean with...." or "Well, I would like to think about this question for a while before I answer". You have time. And all questions aren't meant to be answered immediately.
8) Be professional (no nervous or bad jokes) and positive (don't show any bad moods or anger, even if they turn out to be unprofessional or rude - yes, this has happened to me...). You don't gain anything on loosing your temper. Just leave politely if the interview is not respectful, with the excuse that you have realized the job will probably not meet your expectations.
I am sure there are many more tips on this, as it is a very common topic. Here are a few books on the topic, for extensive preparation. However, I usually think you should be just enough prepared. A natural behavior is better for both you and the recruiters, as that will assure a better match-making. And if you really are super nervous, and it is your first job interview after college or something....well....tell them. It will reveal a card from your hand, but it may also make you feel a bit more comfortable, which may help you win in the end.
Good luck!
Books:
- Getting the job even though no one is hiring: http://www.amazon.com/Want-Even-When-Ones-Hiring/dp/0470457414/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1257400492&sr=8-2
- Ten mistakes to avoid: http://www.amazon.com/Critical-Mistakes-Avoid-Initial-Interview/dp/B001QOGX78/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1257400984&sr=8-3
- Tips to smart answers for tough questions: http://www.amazon.com/Smart-Answers-Interview-Questions-ebook/dp/B001POX728/ref=pd_sim_kinc_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2 (there are many books like this one)
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Feedback is Essential
Here is a thought: one reason why men gets promoted more quickly may be that they receive more feedback.
This is a personal observation, and may not apply to the general case (if there is such), but I have watched my male peers and how they have gotten a lot more feedback than I have, in previous employments.
I have off and on wondered why this is the case, and my empirical conclusion is that it is because there is more "risk" of emotional reaction when giving a female feedback. Women - in general - get more "hurt" by raw comments on what was "wrong" or what could be improved in their performance, presentations, or whatever it may be.
I want to encourage women to try their best to not push feedback-givers away, but reacting emotionally to what is said. Try to do the following:
1) Listen
2) Decide if the feedback is truly valid or if it is a projection made by the person giving it to you
3) Say thank you for the feedback
4) Sleep on it, then try to see what parts are applicable to your delivery and erase anything that are aimed at or based around assumptions around your person
1 -- It is important to hear it all, and then decide what to react to. At this stage, do not take anything in, just hear the words and comments.
2 -- Most people give poor feedback. And if it is given directly after the event, without you asking it, try just to appreciate that someone cared enough about your effort, and take the actual feedback-giving action as a BIG COMPLIMENT. After feeling GOOD about this, you can decide what content actually applies, what content is a projection of the feedback-giver's own flaws and areas of improvements (it is very common to give feedback on what you yourself usually need to improve.....try to observe this next time you hear feedback, and smile when you recognize a projection...it is usually funny!). And try to filter as much emotion away from the actual useful feedback - if any!
3 -- Always say thank you to any feedback giver. This will encourage more feedback going forward, and a better way to fine tune your skills into the next level. If heard by others, it will encourage more feedback channels - which is something you should WANT. How else will you grow and improve?
4 -- Only take in what is useful. Remember that no one can give you feedback on WHO YOU ARE only on WHAT YOU DO. So, you can easily ignore comments like: you suck, you are a lousy designer....or whatever.... you should however listen to people who say: your solution sucks, your design is full of flaws - you have things to learn in these situations, especially if you are curious enough to ask "why? what do you mean by it sucks? can you exemplify what you mean by good vs bad design? etc etc"
Again, always embrace feedback givers. Thank them. Take it as a compliment. And then DECIDE what parts of the feedback you think applies or you think is actually valuable for your future growth.
And, to tie in with the beginning of this entry: it is unfortunate that men tend to give men feedback, and do not dare (?) to give us women the same straight forward feedback. The trick here is to ASK for it. From your boss (not only during performance evaluation, but DIRECTLY after a presentation etc), from your peers (e.g. "Hey, btw, what did you think of this meeting? Any feedback you wanna give me?"). Ask. Ask. And ask again. If you don't get feedback, you will not grow.
And then one last thing. PLEASE PRACTISE on giving feedback as well. A good leader knows when to praise and when to correct, and always to only correct what you DO not make any comments on WHO YOU ARE.
FEEDBACK IS GOOD.
This is a personal observation, and may not apply to the general case (if there is such), but I have watched my male peers and how they have gotten a lot more feedback than I have, in previous employments.
I have off and on wondered why this is the case, and my empirical conclusion is that it is because there is more "risk" of emotional reaction when giving a female feedback. Women - in general - get more "hurt" by raw comments on what was "wrong" or what could be improved in their performance, presentations, or whatever it may be.
I want to encourage women to try their best to not push feedback-givers away, but reacting emotionally to what is said. Try to do the following:
1) Listen
2) Decide if the feedback is truly valid or if it is a projection made by the person giving it to you
3) Say thank you for the feedback
4) Sleep on it, then try to see what parts are applicable to your delivery and erase anything that are aimed at or based around assumptions around your person
1 -- It is important to hear it all, and then decide what to react to. At this stage, do not take anything in, just hear the words and comments.
2 -- Most people give poor feedback. And if it is given directly after the event, without you asking it, try just to appreciate that someone cared enough about your effort, and take the actual feedback-giving action as a BIG COMPLIMENT. After feeling GOOD about this, you can decide what content actually applies, what content is a projection of the feedback-giver's own flaws and areas of improvements (it is very common to give feedback on what you yourself usually need to improve.....try to observe this next time you hear feedback, and smile when you recognize a projection...it is usually funny!). And try to filter as much emotion away from the actual useful feedback - if any!
3 -- Always say thank you to any feedback giver. This will encourage more feedback going forward, and a better way to fine tune your skills into the next level. If heard by others, it will encourage more feedback channels - which is something you should WANT. How else will you grow and improve?
4 -- Only take in what is useful. Remember that no one can give you feedback on WHO YOU ARE only on WHAT YOU DO. So, you can easily ignore comments like: you suck, you are a lousy designer....or whatever.... you should however listen to people who say: your solution sucks, your design is full of flaws - you have things to learn in these situations, especially if you are curious enough to ask "why? what do you mean by it sucks? can you exemplify what you mean by good vs bad design? etc etc"
Again, always embrace feedback givers. Thank them. Take it as a compliment. And then DECIDE what parts of the feedback you think applies or you think is actually valuable for your future growth.
And, to tie in with the beginning of this entry: it is unfortunate that men tend to give men feedback, and do not dare (?) to give us women the same straight forward feedback. The trick here is to ASK for it. From your boss (not only during performance evaluation, but DIRECTLY after a presentation etc), from your peers (e.g. "Hey, btw, what did you think of this meeting? Any feedback you wanna give me?"). Ask. Ask. And ask again. If you don't get feedback, you will not grow.
And then one last thing. PLEASE PRACTISE on giving feedback as well. A good leader knows when to praise and when to correct, and always to only correct what you DO not make any comments on WHO YOU ARE.
FEEDBACK IS GOOD.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
The Code Words
7 years ago I learned the code words. The keys to making your boss not only hear you but really listen. I now give them to you:
"I am seeking more responsibility" means "I am tired of my current position and want to grow into leadership and management roles" alternatively "My path is slowly heading elsewhere if you don't provide me a growth path."
"I want new challenges" means "give me a new role / assignment / or responsibility" but it does not necessarily mean a manager position. Perhaps a project or a component ownership though.
"I don't feel motivated" means "I am looking elsewhere already, and probably will stay if I get a better offer / raise or if you meet my demands". Usually after stating these few words, the counter question is: "And what would motivate you?" SO be PREPARED to in a few sentences define what it is you need to feel that spark again...
The worst thing you can do for your career is to NOT THINK ABOUT IT and COME UNPREPARED to a performance review. Your career is your growth path. Don't neglect it, allow it some time, and list the things you did well during the year, to motivate your increased value for the company.
And one last thing: always focus on the tasks that leads to more value for the company. The rest are just not worth it. Focus on things that energizes you and motivates you, but also focus on the tasks and assignments that lead to growth, if you are not happy to stay where you are.
And always take the opportunities that come to you that feels "a little bit over your competence level" as those are the tasks that will make you grow. Never accept something you can already do. That will make you stagnate and get bored before you know it. Fear and butterflies in your stomach when accepting a new challenge ARE GOOD SIGNS!! Let the butterflies buzz. I know you can do it. And so do you.
Good luck with your next performance review. Let me know if you want me to focus on any specific questions within this area. I have tons of tips!
"I am seeking more responsibility" means "I am tired of my current position and want to grow into leadership and management roles" alternatively "My path is slowly heading elsewhere if you don't provide me a growth path."
"I want new challenges" means "give me a new role / assignment / or responsibility" but it does not necessarily mean a manager position. Perhaps a project or a component ownership though.
"I don't feel motivated" means "I am looking elsewhere already, and probably will stay if I get a better offer / raise or if you meet my demands". Usually after stating these few words, the counter question is: "And what would motivate you?" SO be PREPARED to in a few sentences define what it is you need to feel that spark again...
The worst thing you can do for your career is to NOT THINK ABOUT IT and COME UNPREPARED to a performance review. Your career is your growth path. Don't neglect it, allow it some time, and list the things you did well during the year, to motivate your increased value for the company.
And one last thing: always focus on the tasks that leads to more value for the company. The rest are just not worth it. Focus on things that energizes you and motivates you, but also focus on the tasks and assignments that lead to growth, if you are not happy to stay where you are.
And always take the opportunities that come to you that feels "a little bit over your competence level" as those are the tasks that will make you grow. Never accept something you can already do. That will make you stagnate and get bored before you know it. Fear and butterflies in your stomach when accepting a new challenge ARE GOOD SIGNS!! Let the butterflies buzz. I know you can do it. And so do you.
Good luck with your next performance review. Let me know if you want me to focus on any specific questions within this area. I have tons of tips!
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