Achieving Your Goals

To achieve your goals (see my previous blog for how to create them) you need to be selective. You can't have 100s of goals at the same time. Select a few, and if possible find dependencies to what goals you should do first, to make path for other goals to be achieved much easier.

Example: If I focus on a better communication with my boss, I can later express my interest in travelling more...

SO....HOW do you achieve your goals. Well there are different ways I have used.

DIVIDE AND CONQUER
Goal: I want a Donna Karen purse within 6 months
Strategy: I will save money to afford it
Divide: I need to save $xxx per month to reach the amount needed
Action plan: If I don't spend money on clothes, coffee, and drinks w friends I can achieve that amount per month...

If the goal seems unachievable, try to break it into steps and backtrack. To achieve A, I have to achieve B, and to achieve B, I need to do C by this time.... and by listing C, B, A, you have your action plan.

Sounds easy? Well, it is harder than one can imagine sometimes.

So, what if parts of the goal is not within your control? Then there is the aim sideways approach.

AIM SIDEWAYS
Keep your focus on achieving the goal. And let all your actions lead to steps closer. If there are parts of the distance that you can't do, at least not in a direct fashion, then do them sideways.

Example
Goal: I want to become manager for the engineering department within the next two years
Strategy: Take more leadership and more responsibility, get assigned to important team-leading tasks, show my value to the upper management, and to the team, etc.
Blocker: My boss does not believe that I am ready to become a manager (and you have done your homework of finding out what is required, and proven that list to him over a 6 month period...) - e.g. you are shore he or she is just blocking
Sideways-approach: Modify your goal -- you can become a manager for another department for a while, focus on showing your management qualities to the support organization, keep your ears and eyes open, talk to their management that you are seeking more responsibility. Apply for opportunities under other managers.

Baseline: You can allow yourself to side-track into an almost similar goal-situation - e.g. if you become the manager of the support team, you grow with the management experience, even though it is not what you first desired (development) and next opening for development manager, you have the management experience on your list....which gets you one step closer.

Side tracking is good, if you stay focused on the goal!

And remember, the GOAL is always to GROW. Grow your potential and your comfort zone.

Choosing your Role Models

Who has influenced me the most in my career? Well, I have found myself differ from other successful career women and their choice of role models on at least one aspect. I have not looked for icons - and with that I mean the big names in the business.

Of course their stories are impressive, but there are much behind a person's success - timing, years of work and preparations....and mistakes! There are usually a manager before a really successful one, that has messed things up badly OR that has done all the work that the next manager gets the credit for. So how do you know who has really done what and who has just got on board the last minute, hired into a CEO position just when the market and company was ready to do the finally fine tuning and make an impressive result?

I have chosen instead to look for the capabilities I admire, and tried to learn from people a bit closer to me. I pick the ones that appeal to me and especially those with a great way of thinking - a different way of thinking. Age does not matter as much to me as what the person has accomplished and gone through. I have had younger role models. Female and male.

Let's picture it as a smorgasbord of features, where I can choose and pick the qualities I would like from a set of multiple capable people.

Here are a few things I have come to see as common factors in good role models that you will actually be able to learn from:
- Willingness to share their learning experiences
- Good listening skills
- Strong self esteem, little ego (a little self boost is good, but it should not occupy the whole conversation with a mentor)
- Curiosity
- Clear communication of thoughts and to the point conclusions
- Patience and strategic thinking
- Some kind of past including a phase of major life-struggle
- Blunt and honest
- Trustworthy and respectful

Where do you find these role models? Well, they don't grow on trees, so when you find a person you are impressed by and wish to learn more from, why not immediately give them your business card and ask if they would mind sharing some of their life experiences with you over a working lunch some time. Who wouldn't like that idea?

But make sure it is professionally connected, so they don't think you are asking them out. Best way of preventing misunderstanding is to share your agenda, example: you are at a point in your career where you are seeking external input and perspective, and would really appreciate to get together with interesting/experienced/blah... individuals that can inspire you along the way.

This is how I was invited to VIP mingle events with VCs and how I got a few business cards from CEOs in the valley. I was straight forward, not hesitating to ask a great role model candidate if he or she would be open to share some time with me once in a while, so I could learn from them.

At some later point in time, I will invite one of my best role models to blog about the importance of wing-women. Keep a look out for that blog entry (will have Guest Play: in the title).

Please keep sending me all your questions. I will eventually come around to blog about them, when inspiration is flowing.

Top List

I got the question a week ago: What are your best career tips? The question was asked by an intern at our company. I gave the advise of always networking, select a few mentors, try different assignments, and focus on growth/learning, but when I came home later that day, I decided to really think it through. And here they are, my top five list:

1. Choose your manager - if the current one does not help you grow or see you/your contributions, try to present your achievements to another manager, or the manager one step above... If this is not possible, it is time to seriously consider changing jobs. If the manager does not see you, listen to you, or acknowledge your contributions as well as needs, how will you ever grow and learn in this position?

2. Never believe "it is the way it is" or "there is nothing we can do" or "because this is the way we have always done it". Believe me when I say: there is _always_ another way! Don't let other people tell you what you can or can't do. Don't let other people's fears, failure, or limitations limit what you want to do or your creativity. Yes, you should listen to experience and advice. But if I had followed the rules or listened to the "what if this happens if you do that" or "you can't do that", then I would never have been where I am today.

3. Focus on what you are good at - that will lead to excellent results and good self esteem. You can practise on your weaknesses outside the spotlight, but always present what you did great (and absolutely no excuses for yourself!) Seriously, too many people work on improving their "improvement areas", but do you see many successful people focused on their weak sides?

4. Believe that you are worth more!! Don't ever compromise on your integrity. I have lost some really good deals and negotiations the few times I have doubted myself. Never ever compromise on your self-worth! You are worth it. And more!

5. Choose words like "I want to develop" or "I am ready for new challenges" in your performance evaluation discussions - that will signal you are ready for a promotion or new assignments. Much more effective than to for instance hint that you have other offers or that you are not happy in your situation... Paint the vision, and the vision will become true.

And then a bonus principle I have taken with me from one of my mentors:

"You either win or you learn."

Feel free to add your own career tips to this blog entry.

Where to Draw the Humor Line

A friend of a friend just told me a story that happened to her. She is a director at a high-tech company and works mainly with VP-level male coworkers and customers. It is very important in her job to gain respect, as she influences and sets the strategies for products based on strategic customer partnerships.

At this late afternoon mingle event, where different sales team managers and product management VPs were gathering, after a full day of meetings and discussions, it is in the company culture to network and reinforce important strategic and political relations. Fairly new in the game (she had only worked in her position for a little less than a year) it was very important to make a good and respectful impression on some of the VPs. One of them, let us call him John, had already established good connection with my friend's friend, let's call her Anna. And as John and Anna was talking about their meeting that happened earlier during the day, suddenly Anna's manager walks up to the group and wants to join the conversation. For the record there were three or four other high-up people in the ring of conversation too, just listening but paying attention to the conversation for sure.

Anna's manager suddenly interrupts (and this will be another topic of mine later, why male managers feel like they have to interrupt women in their teams!) and asks John how he has been doing. Again, for the record, John is a key player for the next years sales strategies, so it is a moment of competition at this time to get his time and attention. John politely answers, with an apologetic look to Anna. Anna's manager continues and suggests John to catch up with Anna later during the week. John informs the manager that the two of them have already had a very valuable and fruitful meeting, and that he is very happy to see Anna prosper and make such progress in the team in such short time. Anna feels complimented within, and is just about to give a positive feedback to John, when Anna's manager suddenly says:

"Yeah, you never know with Anna, she is so unpredictable. She's on cycles you know...he he". The whole circle of people turns very quiet. John doesn't know what to say and has a very disturbed and surprised look on his face. Not to mention Anna, whose jaw has dropped. The manager laughs a bit nervously and leaves the circle. John turns back to Anna and gives her a very compationate look, that somewhat tells her that it is her manager who was the jerk here, and she is not at fault.

Of course she is not. What a jerk! Even if women are on cycles, and our moods may vary or our strengths against raw comments may be inconsistent, I believe that there are just as much problem dealing with male egos as their are with hormonal women. How can someone, in front of important key persons in particular, make such a bad joke. If it was a joke even.

It is distasteful. But to be fair, I guess if it is one time, one should let it pass? But still.... I couldn't believe what I heard when my friend told me about Anna's experience. And I am glad no one else laughed. I hope the circle's reaction made the manager get the message, and I believe that was the case, as he immediately left the group with an embarrassed laugh.

Later I was told that John had followed up with Anna again, and in passing mentioned how there are too few women in the high-tech business. He also told her that he had sponsored a college fund for women in technology. I admire John in this story. A very successful man, who is confident enough in his own position, to let others grow and feel respected. A man that respects women. Why are there so few of this kind of man?

By sharing this story, I want to encourrage you to treat your colleagues with great respect. Even if they are jerks. It will shine brighter and let you win long term. Remember that sometimes it takes just one disrespectful joke to make a lot of harm.

And if it ever happens to you, that you get disrespectful comments or jokes, don't let them ruin your integrity or self-esteem. Don't let jerks ruin your day! In that moment, try to remember John instead. Remember that there are other people out there who respect you and who believe in your capacity. John believes in you and that you can do it.

Just remember John.