Building Up Yourself

One of my readers asked me in an email (thanks for your emails btw!) what advise I have on boosting your own self-esteem. So here are my thoughts on this topic:

THE MIRROR TRICK
When you see yourself in the mirror in the morning, greet yourself and say three things about yourself that you like and/or are proud of.

Example
1. "I am proud of that I usually keep cool in critical situations"
2. "I am happy that I am such an adventurous person so I get to experience a lot"
3. "I like the fact that I am an encouraging mom"

If you want the super-boost, do it every morning and every night - for example when you have brushed your teeth.

Say it out loud so you see yourself, hear yourself, and think about yourself at the same time.

THE BED SIDE BOOK
This is a similar tool. Keep a bed-side note book by your bed. And every night, just before you turn out the lights and go to sleep, you write down three things you are proud of that day.

Soon you will see a pattern of waking up more happy about yourself and what you can do. The mornings start brighter.

Note that you must really try hard (especially if your self esteem is very low) to really try to feel the good feeling of being proud about yourself and your day. Block negative thinking. Try hard, it will get easier if you do it regularly.

THE POSITIVE ATTITUDE CIRCLE
Start saying the positive things you think about others. People get more positive by compliments (don't exaggerate though...) and will over time start giving you positive behavior back.

Laughter is contagious. So is a smile. And so is positive behavior. If you give compliments, people will start giving them back. And this will help boost your impression of yourself. But this is a side-boost, as the most important source for your self esteem should always be yourself and your own thoughts.

SELF-PEPPING
Try to inject every now and then through out the day:

1. Wohoo I am so good!!
2. I can do this, I know I can do this.
3. I am spectacularly fantabulous.

Or some other fun-you self-boosting key sentences. Not only will this self-complimenting help you like yourself and your compliments better. But it is your own vocabulary - not connected with any bad previous experience, not enforced to self-denial or self-criticism - that hopefully sets a smile on your face a few times through the day.

If you have trouble remembering to self-inject, then set a daily alarm in your cell phone.... Be creative!

PAMPER YOURSELF
Make sure to do happy things for yourself.

Tips:

• A bubble bath
• A good book and a hot cup of tea - and lock the door to be left alone for a while...
• A massage
• A pedicure (and make sure to get the deluxe while you are at it...)
• Paint your nails
• Sing out loud in your car to your favorite song

LEARN SOMETHING NEW
Outside work, try out something new. Doesn't have to be brain surgery advanced or anything. Take a class in arranging flowers. Create some pottery. Or even, just buy some paper and do a collage on your own. Just try something new once in a while.

After you have spent a few hours doing something new, take 10 minutes and just feel proud. Feel new. Feel accomplished. You are not only your work, your family demands, your everyday self. You are capable to learn and take in new experiences.

EXERCISE & VITAMINS
Yes. Endorphins will always give a better safety net for dips in your self-esteem. And so will your daily vitamins. Trust me. Or science.