The Invisible Umbrella

When I was in the beginning of my career I often took comments very seriously. Very personally. I remember that each day was important to me. Every meeting had an impact on my self-esteem. I was right out of school and thought there was so many rights and wrongs. It was a never ending process of judging myself based on reactions and interaction with others.

Gosh that was soooo energy-consuming. I am glad that I have found my way out of that, although I still feel it from time to time when interacting with new teams. I don't let myself get consumed by it anymore. Note to self: proud of that.

After an all-day meeting yesterday with company executives, I let the thought linguer in my head for a while, how I got to a place where I feel comfortable asking "stupid questions" and showing where I am vounorable. My best guesses are as follows:

1. Time, maturity, and experience. Yes. Of course. But that won't probably help others out there in a current situation. But please know that it gets better with time.
2. The no asshole rule - a book that helped giving me the key thought to use when someone is yelling my ears off - very unprofessionnally - for something that I did or did not do. These days I can think: "what an asshole...and that their behavior and incompetent communication skills are his or her problems to deal with". And since I do not let it affect me (yes, I AM IN CHARGE of deciding if it will take from my energy or not) I can these days reply with calm voice: "You don't need to talk to me this way. It is in my opinion very unprofessional. Why don't you come back when you are ready to behave respectfully, and I will listen to you then." It has certainly taken the edge of many situations.
3. Confront bad behavior immediately. "I do not appreciate when you.... A better way of interacting with me in a constructive way is.... Thanks in advance for considering this next time."
4. Don't be afraid. Others don't judge you as hard as yourself.
5. The umbrella vision - one of my mentors taught me this. When someone is bombarding you with their stress / anger / frustration, it is not yours to absorb. Their insults/demands - whatever - can be visualized like raindrops attacing you, but hitting your invisible umbrella that you pull up in front of you. This mental vision has helped me "shake it off like a man". And quicker move on with my day, and let go of the bad comments, and not let it STEAL ENERGY from me.

Basically just remember: it is YOUR DAY in YOUR LIFE. You own YOUR ENERGY. Don't let people steal it through THEIR BAD BEHAVIOR.