Choosing your Role Models

Who has influenced me the most in my career? Well, I have found myself differ from other successful career women and their choice of role models on at least one aspect. I have not looked for icons - and with that I mean the big names in the business.

Of course their stories are impressive, but there are much behind a person's success - timing, years of work and preparations....and mistakes! There are usually a manager before a really successful one, that has messed things up badly OR that has done all the work that the next manager gets the credit for. So how do you know who has really done what and who has just got on board the last minute, hired into a CEO position just when the market and company was ready to do the finally fine tuning and make an impressive result?

I have chosen instead to look for the capabilities I admire, and tried to learn from people a bit closer to me. I pick the ones that appeal to me and especially those with a great way of thinking - a different way of thinking. Age does not matter as much to me as what the person has accomplished and gone through. I have had younger role models. Female and male.

Let's picture it as a smorgasbord of features, where I can choose and pick the qualities I would like from a set of multiple capable people.

Here are a few things I have come to see as common factors in good role models that you will actually be able to learn from:
- Willingness to share their learning experiences
- Good listening skills
- Strong self esteem, little ego (a little self boost is good, but it should not occupy the whole conversation with a mentor)
- Curiosity
- Clear communication of thoughts and to the point conclusions
- Patience and strategic thinking
- Some kind of past including a phase of major life-struggle
- Blunt and honest
- Trustworthy and respectful

Where do you find these role models? Well, they don't grow on trees, so when you find a person you are impressed by and wish to learn more from, why not immediately give them your business card and ask if they would mind sharing some of their life experiences with you over a working lunch some time. Who wouldn't like that idea?

But make sure it is professionally connected, so they don't think you are asking them out. Best way of preventing misunderstanding is to share your agenda, example: you are at a point in your career where you are seeking external input and perspective, and would really appreciate to get together with interesting/experienced/blah... individuals that can inspire you along the way.

This is how I was invited to VIP mingle events with VCs and how I got a few business cards from CEOs in the valley. I was straight forward, not hesitating to ask a great role model candidate if he or she would be open to share some time with me once in a while, so I could learn from them.

At some later point in time, I will invite one of my best role models to blog about the importance of wing-women. Keep a look out for that blog entry (will have Guest Play: in the title).

Please keep sending me all your questions. I will eventually come around to blog about them, when inspiration is flowing.